Detested orchids

So...reading Dale and Marni's posts about Cochleanthes viridisepala got me thinking about the orchids I just don't like, or think look pretty dumb. I really don't like Rossioglossum grande. I also don't like Anguloas. i'm not a big fan of Maxillarias either - find them pretty boring for the most part (except the obvious ones fractiflexa, etc.) I'm sure some of you love those, so don't be offended. I'm sure you'd find my Catasetums pretty stupid too, considering they're huge and in bloom like 5 days a year.

How about you guys?

 

Favorite genus is easy - Catasetums of course. They are the most evolutionary advanced orchid, therefore they are the best. They are huge, don't care about water quality, and come in every shape and size. They grow so fast, that this time of year you can literally watch them grow. If you mess up the culture, they drop their leaves every year, so you don't have to feel inferior bringing them to the OS meeting next year, because nobody can see your blemishes.

Check out one of my friends plants - .

They only need HEAT during the sumer, which is what most of us can provide, a ton of water, a ton of fertilizer, and who cares about the winter. So - I get double the amount of plants, because the Catasetums go in the closet during the winter, all the other orchids go in the GH. Catasetums go in the GH during the summer, all the others go outside. I don't have to worry too much about cooling the GH during the summer, because they'd rather be at 95 during the day, and 70 at night. There's enough variety in the culture that makes them a challenge....Plus when I go on vacation to tropical beaches in South America, I always get to see my favorite plants. You Pleuro people have to freeze your butts off in the cloud forests to see yours.

I actually do like a lot of oncidiums, except for fuscatum and its ilk. They are big and showy, easy to grow. They impress non orchid growers. I have a hard time convincing people that Bulbophyllum microrhombos is the be all end all when I show it to them - or people think I'm crazy if I get excited at a Tuberolabium spike (which smells awful BTW). At least in San Diego, oncidiums and encyclias occupy the same place in my heart. They are easy to grow, outside 100% of the year, and always throw out a show. Too bad they aren't too colorful. But whatever.

Obviously there are some species that no matter what cause everybody with a heart to pause. Cyrtochilum macranthum is one that comes to mind as that even impresses my wife, who really dislikes orchids. Laelia anceps is another.

I lied in the opening post - actually I was cleaning out my closet last night, and I found a stack of old Orchids magazines. I was going through them, and I found an article about Rossioglossum grande by our good friend Marni (sorry) . I saw the picture, and there's like this intrinsic disgusting feeling I get when I see it. If most orchids are European, Rossioglossum grande is definitely the American of the bunch. I feel bad for it, because it doesn't realize how gaudy and ugly it is with its tennis shoes on, track pants and belly hanging out - even if its a bit naive, it still sucks.

Not as bad as paphs though.

 

I'm just a sucker for the lowland huge plants. Being young, dumb and naive, my favorite plants are Catasetinae, and just for amusements sake, I have a growing collection of Cyrtopodiums - I think I have 15 species now or so. I have a couple Grammangis, and love Vandopsis, Eulophiella, etc.

Even though I'm all for refined tastes, I go big. Nothing quite compares to a plant that looks like it wants to eat you. Or, a Cycnoches that is 3 feet tall, and has 7 spikes of 40 flowers each. Even if its only perfect for one day, that one day is the best day ever.

I also like Sobralias for the same reasons - but those are easy growers here.

You guys in Texas and Florida should really grow more Catasetinae.

 

I have C. rosea alba

 

Its still tiny, so at least one if not two years before I can divide it. Your name now is at the top of the list. I want *at least* D. schrautii though as my pirates booty.