The Devil Came to Town

...arrived at his door, unexpectedly, dressed in that hot little outfit? I didn't even know I was on her radar, thought Carl. And then she took that damn phone call, and bolted for the door. As she sprinted down the walk, she turned and said, "I'm sorry, but ...

 

"I'm sorry, but ... that was Miss Cleo and I'm late for my seance. I'll call you!"

Carl wiped more sweat from his brow and began to realize...

 

it was going to be yet another long and lonely night at home by himself. So instead of taking pity on himself he decided to do the unexpected and....

 

...Cupboard next to my bong!" Carl ran for the kitchen just as the phone rang, it was....

 

....the exotic and mysterious Miss Cleo. "Please," she said, "you must come quickly"...

 

..which Carl thought kind of creepy because how did she know he wasn't wearing any pants?

He pulled on his drawers and headed for the door. "Shit. Where the heck have my keys gone to now?", he wondered. His first thought was to check .....

 

...whether he had accidentally left them in the ignition again. He had indeed. There in the garage was a dwarf gunning the engine...."Hurry up and get in, there's no time to lose!" said the tiny driver...

 

As he swerved to avoid running over the cat! "Quick", he said get out the map, we need to get to....

 

find New Orleans. Miss Cleo is lost in the crowd and can't find her...

 

...coffee. some people thought ms cleo was actually a figment of their collective imaginations, but having seen her ad in print, i knew she was real. they wouldn't print it if it wasn't true or....

 

Meanwhile, over at the Hyperhidrosis Clinic on Fifth and Maple, Carl wipes yet more sweat from his brow and wonders when he'll hear from Thelma.

Suddenly jolted from his reverie by his Bonanza ringtone, he answers.

"Hello?"

"Hi, Carl. This is your long lost step uncle, Otis. I need some..."

 

strange looking tall green man. OMG it is the Jolly Green Giant! He is trying to find his little friends and asks you for so help. When you tell him you are trying to get the coockie dough to Ms. Cleo he turns around and says....

 

I thought this was the end of the line. Are you positive they are selling goats here? Carl starts to squirm when confronted with such a suggestive question, could it be that Miss. Cleo was really asking him if he............

 

"...could it be that Miss. Cleo was really asking him if he... was really from Texas and not RI?"

Meanwhile...... Ethyl Thriftbuzzard softly closed the door behind her as she exited the Dairy Queen on Second and Bridge Street. Mercifully, the derisive laughter of the meeny teenagers abruptly ceased. She sighed softly and leaned against the brick wall of the building she'd just exited. Softly she began to weep and thought "It's been six weeks since I've seen my..."

 

cat. Somebody must have run over my poor pussy...

 

[Editorial comment]

abaxter. Please try to include a lead in for the next poster's contribution. This isn't a quiz show. It's a novel. Continuity and transition is important.

 

It must have been my Evil next door neighbor Zortan Aloysius Smith, you know the type, the dark brooding loner who always turns out to be a serial killer, and has a hundred bodies buried in the basement. I remember the way he used to look at my pussy, the way he said he was going to…