The Devil Came to Town

"it had a large..." oil stain on the right hip. "Hot damn!", Carl thought, "I just love a woman that changes her own oil." Mopping his perennialy wet brow, Carl nonchalantly struts over to Miss Cleo and says " 'Scuse me, miss. Would you like to see my..."

 

The midget, who was wearing a donkey suit and the big green guy who looked allot like a big green guy(Yeah thats right Shrek) Just then the donkey started to choke on a...

 

Newt eye! Now how had that midget got into them? He must have...

 

[EDITORIAL REQUEST]

Alright, people. I know I'm just a participant here, but..... please. Can we stop writing about midgets and dwarves? They give me a bad case of heebie jeebies. And don't ask me why, 'cause I don't know. Must be some sort of repressed memory or somethin'.

I think the 'smallness' thing might be the reason I'm inclined to exclude RI from my life. I need to write Dr. Ruth, I guess.

 

'Scuse me, miss. Would you like to see my..." Donkey Kong " ?
She lets out a gasp of ....

 

wonder and surprise until she realized he was talking about a video game. Of course, being Miss Cleo, she saw that coming but still, a girl can dream, she thought.
As she pretended to be impressed, his eagle-sharp gaze fell upon.....

 

the bag of groceries ms cleo was holding and wondered what exactly she was doing with a package of ...

 

...midget-enhancing herbs and spices. As Carl pondered exactly what she would be enhancing on said midget, Thelma burst into the room, wild-eyed but still stunningly hot.
She fell into Carl's arms and said, "Oh Carl, at last. I thought they .......

 

..that garbage pickup was cancelled 5 years ago. Poor kid, he thought. She has been so wrapped up in ....

 

Her pole dancing lessons she's forgotten about everything else.

 

Now it is time to see if all those pole dancing lessons have paid off. She has finally gotten a job at the local men's club and was walking out on stage for her first dance when she notices....

 

this was no ordinary men's club but rather the monthly meeting of the hair club for men.
Blinded by the reflection of the spotlights off of the patrons heads she stumbled gracefully off the stage and landed in the lap of ......

 

Zortan with a brand knew pair of nifty frog foreskin earmuffs and there sitting in the seat next to him was the last person she expected to see, ....

 

It was Barry, her first love...though sadly her passion was unrequited. Could this be her second chance....and if so, how could she break the news to poor besotted Carl?

 

Little did she know however that Carl had decided to join the foreign legion? He had been having unnatural thoughts toward the local bird life at the park pond. The last straw was when he had this urge to go out and buy a snorkel & mask. It was then that he had made his decision, after seeing an advertisement in a magazine he rang up and spoke to recruiting officer Sgt Henri…

 

who informed him that the Legion were not seeking avian fetishists in their ranks at this time...

 

Frustrated Carl decided he should ring up his long lost love Tracy. Tracy had been on her computer at the time, chatting in a thread about a very strange group of characters that included Dwarfs, Golly Green Giants & Uzbekistanian Virgins all of whom had been at this wild party of Ms Cleo’s. This in it’s self was very strange considering it is a web site promoting the growing of orchids. Tracy picked up the phone; hello…

 

G'day Mate, got any Vegemite to go on this bloody burned toast i made.

Meanwhile Carl decided to join the Canadian Mounties , he always did enjoy a good ...

 

...stiff drink and big hat. And he could use one, especially after all the drama of the morning. As he poured a drink, the phone rang violently. After searching, he found it under a pile of socks. As soon as he picked it up, the hair on the back of his very muscular neck stood on end. He knew immediately that joining the Mounties would have to wait because.....