The Devil Came to Town

"Would she ever forgive him…" for taking the family goat with him when he left? Mopping his brow, Carl noticed the time. Groaning, he realized it was almost time for him to start walking to work at the...

 

seedy dive known as Slapstick McGillicutty's. Christ, he thought, another day of that crowd.

 

another day of that crowd....of losers. Oh well, it keeps kibble in the bowl and cream in the pitcher. He was just happy to have a job. Why, just the other day...

 

"just the other day..." Tracey, the ol' termagant at Slapstick's offered him a pay raise. "No thanks, Ma'am. I'm just happy to have a job!" Wiping sweat from his brow, Carl continued to plod on down the dusty dirt road to the bar and his job. Suddenly, Carl noticed a disturbance in the brush alongside the road. Stepping off the shoulder of the road he peered into the brush; to his amazement he saw...

 

...the long-abandoned family goat. WTF? How did it get here, and why was it draped in that fetching red velvet wrap. Isn't that the thing that crusty old guy from the bar sometimes wears?

 

Esmerelda might provide some entrepeneurial opportunity....

 

Such as inspecting ceilings for personal gain, or

 

have a associate degree in Velvet cape restoration with a minor in corrective brow mopping. Now if only Carl would sit still long enuf and STOP playing with that infernal...

 

Rash, Damn pelican itch he thought. His mind went back to the old family goat and why was it wearing the cape. The exact same same cape the old bugga in the bar used to. He began to see the irony is this, 2 old goats wearing the same coat. And then it struck him...

 

struck him like a kryptonite brick , that a caviar and shitake pizza would really hit the spot while watching ...

 

Iron chef!! I should go on that show he thought, while picking fish eggs form his teeth he started coming up with wild recipes, with dishes like...

 

...stuffed duck cheeks. He couldn't remember he had a decent meal of stuffed duck cheeks. Now if he could only remember .....

 

why he was wearing a corset and sucking a ...

 

bacon popsicle, when it was so cold out, that he........

 

...momentarily forgot to suck and soon realize that the popsicle was stuck to his tongue!

Hep, hep, he cried to nobody in particular. He soon realized he was alone and would have to ......

 

Call someone for help, grabbing for his cell phone off the shelf & without realizing it, he also clasped a tube of superglue. Rapidly bonding to everything he touched, his phone was stuck to his left hand which in turn was stuck to his right ear. With his right hand he clambered for some paper towels. In retrospect this of course was a silly thing to do. There was a knock on the door…

 

...and his first reaction was to grab the doorknob but at the last minute he thought, "Oh HELL no, I ain't doing that." Thinking quickly he called out, "who's there?" He thought he was losing his mind when he heard a voice from his past call out, "What happened, man, are you all stuck together again? I bet you have a popsicle stuck on your tongue too, eh?"
Carl couldn't believe his ears, it was his old friend ......

 

it was his old friend ......
Burt. Burt had always been very perceptive, he had been on a pilgrimage to visit the Dalai Lama seeking harmony & knowledge. Carl looking at the calendar on the wall realized today was the day Burt was due back, he should have remembered after all Burt lived up stairs in the flat above. Why couldn’t he believe his ears then when Burt spoke, this he realized was probably due to the rustle of paper, the phone stuck to one ear and the fituck fituck noise that came from the popsicle when ever he tried to speak. Burt glowing with inner peace took one look at Carl and asked……

 

Whas up Dude?? Didja find the enlightenment that you sought? Was her.............