Welcome to Hardy Cove!

telefreakinpathic !! Chawin on the weirdness of that concept, Carl then pondered if Booger was any good at guessing Lottery numbers ?? Man that would be awesome, with tons of moolah, i could get me a new ...

 

....lease on life. He wasnt sure what that would cost but surely the winning lottery ticket would give him a head start. He glanced in Booger's direction and was unnerved by the dog's steady gaze. Booger seemed.......

 

...pulled out a jar of moonshine. The last of the August vintage. It had turned out surprisingly well despite the fact that Carl had used crumbled up rye bread that had gone a bit moldy. Carl had just begun to wonder if he could mix some antifreeze with it and sell it to the high school kids as Absinthe, when Boogers thoughts intruded loudly..."BACON!!!! FOR GOD'S SAKE COOK SOME BACON!!!! Please.....bacon...." Carl then....

 

Carl then....
thought how stupid of me to think of adding antifreeze to the moonshine. I need to get my ...

 

...azz in gear and do something productive. First, food. "RIGHT!" boomed the the Voice in his head. Carl quickly opened a can of Spam for the dog. Booger started to wag his tail in approval of his choice. As Carl watched the dog wolf down his meal, he thought to himself, " I suppose a trip to the Vet's is in order for Booger today." He moved to pick up the phone when ........

 

He moved to pick up the phone when ........
He remembered his phone had been disconnected just this morning. Damn ... when would he remember to start paying his bills on time. Thank G_d he'd only gotten a first deliquent notice from the electric company.
Tossing the phone back in the cradle he decided to get dressed and take Booger for a nice long walk. After all, he knew that Spam would get to Booger sooner than later.
As he was rummaging through the hamper for a somewhat clean t shirt he heard a thump at the kitchen window. Rushing back he couldn't believe what he saw ...........

 

An enormous frog with a prosthetic leg and an eye patch. Who are you said Carl, "Long John Green" who else would I be!! came the reply. Booger ran into the kitchen let out a Spam fart & snickered. The frog turned to face Booger bowed down and said "It is time your Highness" Booger dropped another and replied....

 

"I need to go out for a while now." Casting a superior, almost pitying glance towards Carl, he added "When I return, bring him to me."

"Yes Master. Of course Master" replied Long John...

 

...Green.
At this point, Carl was more intrigued then anything. How and what brought this dog into his life? And why him, why Carl? Sure, he's good looking and knows all the words of almost every one of Van Morrison's songs but surely that was his only claim to fame. He'd often wonder if he would even leave a mark on this world, if anyone would think of him. tell funny anecdotes of their time with him. Oh sure, there was that one ......

 

there was that one ......

time in Chicago years ago at that seedy little Melanesian night club. Wincing he remembered that for a bet he preformed the dance of the 7 veils over hot coals using nothing but toilet paper for the veils. And all the time singing Georgia on my Mind. That was the last time he would ever get plastered on banana daiquiris.

Booger strolled back inside, not knowing what to think Carl said “What’s all this Highness Crap Booger”
That would be Prince Booger to you!! Long John kicked Carl in the arse with his prosthetic leg causing Carl to look around quickly at the frog. “Bow down to the prince you heathen scum, you are not worthy to stand in his presence. It was at this point that Carl realised this no ordinary frog with a prothetic leg…...

 

frog with a prothetic leg....


Just then the BEEEP BEEP BEEP from his alarm clock jolted Carl awake. Carl jumped to his feet and looked around the dark room. He thought to himself "thank god, safe and sound back in my apartment in New York city. No talking dogs, no green frogs, just me and my apartment.". Carl then realized that he needed to use the rest room and stumbled to the bath room to use the toilet, just then he realized.....

 

....that the dream was much more fun then his real life. And so it goes.

After he had finished his morning toilette, Carl went to the kitchen. What greeted him there gave him a start. Much to his disbelieving eye, there ......

 

somebody's glass eyeball. How did it get there? And why didn't I notice it before, he wondered....And WHAT on earth has it seen???? So he wandered off to check

 

[Editorial comment]

Jesus, Karen. How do you come up with this shit? Glass eyeball? :bang:

 

if maybe by chance the Glass eyeball had seen where his Detachable Penis had wandered off to ? I hate when that happens he muttered , then from above came a voice " .....

 

Oh bi golly bi gosh. There on the rotating ceiling fan stood a leprechaun minus one glass eyeball going round & around.
Ya found tit, Lourdy be praised. As a reward I grant thee one wish, but ye need ta be able ta answer me riddle?? What is black & grey, eats through a straw and laughs at funerals.

 

oh bloody hell ya one eye'd gimpy Leprechaun, is the answer Yo Mama , as Carl turns the ceiling fan up to full speed sendin the little green dork flying out the open window and ....

 

the open window and ....
into the path of a speeding Kenworth Road Train. The little green hood ornament was last heard screaming "you have no sense of humor"
Carl on the the other hand was rolling around on the floor pissing himself. Carl finally collected his thoughts got up and promptly stood on the glass eyeball. The silica visionary orb flew across the room and into the little wooden chest adorning the mantelpiece blasting it into a thousand pieces there in a among the wreckage lay a small Rubics Cube, all the different segment were made up of different coloured precocious stones. Then he noticed that one of each colour had a letter on it. Carl started twisting it he couldn't stop, he made one final turn looked at it and there in front of him was the word.....